Well, sorry I haven't been writing in my blog. I have just been so, busy with my life problems. Anyway, on to discussing it, you might not like it, but I shall blog about it anyway. Well, from my last blog, I was blaming my mom, only because it seemed like her, because she told me my dad phoned her... and my dad never phones her. So, I just didn't know the facts. Now I do, it was my dad. He was the one that went into my business without my permission, I know that he's my father, and he did all these things while I was growing up, but still, some permission would have been great. He also assumed things, things that were no where near correct. From those events, I have informed my grandparents of my dads actions, and attitude, and that they should talk to him about it... Guess what they did? My grandpa freaked out at me, and kicked me out of the house (I resided in their home, it was more convenient living there than my dads, my mom lived in another town, so I was unable to go to the same school if I had lived with her). It just turned out that he had even greater anger issues, I guess that's where my dad got his from.
So, I was kicked out of my home, and my mom was unable to pick me up, not until the end of the week (It was Tuesday I believe) So, my friend, my very awesome friend, let me stay at his house until my mom could pick me up. I'm not going to discuss the rest of the week I am currently residing with my mother still, she's been great, took me in, she didn't even bring up the incident at all. I'm glad someone took my side. It has been a month and a week since they kicked me out. I have also found out more and more information they have been keeping from me. They shoved all these lies in my face, making it seem like I lived in this perfect world. I am really disappointed about their lying and rudeness towards me. They didn't accept me, when they found out that I was gay... They didn't accept me, and didn't like the "way I turned out". I was shocked to hear such a thing, and appalled. It hurts that they would say such things. I always assumed that, if none of my friends accepted me, I would at least have my family... Guess I was wrong, it was the complete opposite. All my friends accepted me, which is great. My mom, and my siblings do of course, thank god. Although, only some of my siblings do, my step brothers don't... I don't feel the need to tell them though, if they find out, then they find out. It doesn't matter much.
I miss all my friends back in my home town, very much, I love them all to bits. I'm homesick, and very lonely at the moment. Through this all, I am still doing alright. I'm not mad at my family, just severely disappointed. I cannot believe they said the things they said. It's sad to see things turn out like this, from a stupid little incident like this. Oh well, things will get better eventually, and maybe they will soon accept the fact I'm gay and welcome me back into the family. If not, it's their loss, I don't want a family that doesn't love me for who I am, if that's the way they think, then, whatever.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Long Delay
Sorry for the long delay on writing a new post.
A lot has happened since my last post. Thaine, has found another girl to go out with, so as long as he is happy, i am happy. In the last two days, i've been having some family issues, mainly my mothers fault. She wants me to go to a councillor cause she thinks i have problems. Which i dont. She also thinks that i talk to "Older Men" which is DEFINATLY wrong. I do, but not like, Internet Sex, that is just. WRONG. they are part of the Furry World, and furries help each other out, with problems, with anything, we are a nice community. We help each and every fur. We stand up for each other, we watch each others backs. They are the people you would go to if you have problems and need to talk. I know whether or not they are good or bad people, my parents should learn facts before shooting off there mouth at me. Its just rather depressing that my mom would have to make this such a big issue, when she started this all, she could have avoided this all if she had learn the facts. Instead of assuming.
Now i may never be able to do anything. All because my mother assumed things and told my dad, and ordered him around. The only person that i could convince, was my sister. She keeps worrying i will never speak to her again. Which is incredibly stupid, because, none of this is her fault.
I have lost all trust in my parents. They are going to have to work for my trust, my love and my friendship back. They most certainly did Blow this whole thing Out of Proportion.
A lot has happened since my last post. Thaine, has found another girl to go out with, so as long as he is happy, i am happy. In the last two days, i've been having some family issues, mainly my mothers fault. She wants me to go to a councillor cause she thinks i have problems. Which i dont. She also thinks that i talk to "Older Men" which is DEFINATLY wrong. I do, but not like, Internet Sex, that is just. WRONG. they are part of the Furry World, and furries help each other out, with problems, with anything, we are a nice community. We help each and every fur. We stand up for each other, we watch each others backs. They are the people you would go to if you have problems and need to talk. I know whether or not they are good or bad people, my parents should learn facts before shooting off there mouth at me. Its just rather depressing that my mom would have to make this such a big issue, when she started this all, she could have avoided this all if she had learn the facts. Instead of assuming.
Now i may never be able to do anything. All because my mother assumed things and told my dad, and ordered him around. The only person that i could convince, was my sister. She keeps worrying i will never speak to her again. Which is incredibly stupid, because, none of this is her fault.
I have lost all trust in my parents. They are going to have to work for my trust, my love and my friendship back. They most certainly did Blow this whole thing Out of Proportion.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Oh Haii Thar.
Hello Blog, it has been too long since i last wrote in you... Oh how things have changed. My boyfriend, he is doing good, i am doing good. Although, Thaine is not. He broke it off with Opal, mostly cause, after me and him talked for a bit, him telling me, that he didnt have the same feelings anymore, i just simply told him, if he doesnt love her anymore, there is no reason for you to stay, and the longer you wait to do it, the more its going to hurt her in the end. So yeah, they broke up, then a day before Valentine's day, Thaine got jumped. He got Beaten up, he was maced, and beaten with a weapon also. The weapon was believed to be a sprinkler i think. I wasnt really worried about Thaine though, cause, if thaine really wanted to... He could have easily beaten him up, but Thaine didnt fight back. Here's a few words he said... "I hope i didnt hurt his fist with my face... i might have hurt his weapon with my face though...." ... Yeah, he's crazy. Oh and this past Tuesday, Opal and Deseray got in a feud, where, three security guards had to stop it, and Thaine had to jump in, so Opal wouldnt do anything. Out of Thaine's words "Opal, i wouldnt want to fight Des, she can beat you up!". As we were walking back to Campus, Me, Brittany, Thaine, and some other people. Thaine got caught up by Opal, and i turn around to check, and i saw Opal Hit Thaine, after seeing him say something, but i couldnt hear him from distance, she slaps him again, and Thaine, he isnt the type of guy to hit a girl, and by the look on his face, it looked kind of angry, but i knew he wouldnt hit her.... Then Brittany jumps in and pushes Opal off. Then another security guard comes in. After that, we had to leave behind Thaine and go back to Campus. Thaine did catch up in a couple of minutes though. Apparently, the guard could have charger Thaine with Assault, even though he didnt do SHIT to Opal. There has also been rumours about Opal, Like how she spat in a teachers face. Or How she sent the guy to beat up Thaine, but those are just rumours...
My Big Bro, Wolfe, he's drawing our fursona's, and his idea is to have my fursona, behind him, and hes going to be sitting in a chair, and im going to be pouncing him. I think its going to be cute. Wolfe, he's helped me ever since Derrik broke up with me. I tell him everything, cause, he gets mad when i dont. He really is, overly protective over me, like i am his little brother.
"ich Liebe mein bruder, und im froh, daß er ist hier für mich" - "I love my brother, and i am pleased that he is here for me."
"ich Liebe mein bruder, und im froh, daß er ist hier für mich" - "I love my brother, and i am pleased that he is here for me."
Oh how i can go on and on in german, simply, cause for some reason, i like that language, always have. i was going to talk about something else, but i have forgotten what.... if i remember, i'll post it in the next one....
Saturday, February 6, 2010
*Sighh*
Hopefully, this time around, you wont do anything stupid, and i wont. Cause, i love you soo much, that if i lose you again, i dont know what i would do. You mean a lot to me, i hope you see that. Derrik and I are dating again, so yeah, things got a shine of light for a bit. Happy Face.
On the other hand, i am sick again, so yeah. This sucks. I hate being sick, but who doesnt? School, is pretty depressing, i actually hate it, i was so going to take online schooling, but my friends wont let me, sad face. I could go on and on about how life is depressing, but frankly, i dont want to do it. So yeah, figure out yourself on how life is sad. There are many reason's if you look hard enough, but thats not the point of life, the point of life is getting past the flaws and onto the perfections. I lost my story, my new story series called "Amnesia" like, i dont know where i put it, or where i left it... so yeah, im going to have to keep looking, and if i dont find it, i'll have to restart the story, and i was on chapter two! Sad face. Anyway, with each passing day, the world keeps revolving, the earth keeps moving, life keeps dwindling down its days. Time stops for no man, so keep that in mind, and live life to its fullest! Since i dont have much to talk about... this will be a short blog. Until further ado, i'll see you, my faithful blog readers, next time :) <--- Hahaha, i know, that was pretty lamee :)
On the other hand, i am sick again, so yeah. This sucks. I hate being sick, but who doesnt? School, is pretty depressing, i actually hate it, i was so going to take online schooling, but my friends wont let me, sad face. I could go on and on about how life is depressing, but frankly, i dont want to do it. So yeah, figure out yourself on how life is sad. There are many reason's if you look hard enough, but thats not the point of life, the point of life is getting past the flaws and onto the perfections. I lost my story, my new story series called "Amnesia" like, i dont know where i put it, or where i left it... so yeah, im going to have to keep looking, and if i dont find it, i'll have to restart the story, and i was on chapter two! Sad face. Anyway, with each passing day, the world keeps revolving, the earth keeps moving, life keeps dwindling down its days. Time stops for no man, so keep that in mind, and live life to its fullest! Since i dont have much to talk about... this will be a short blog. Until further ado, i'll see you, my faithful blog readers, next time :) <--- Hahaha, i know, that was pretty lamee :)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Dreams .
So apparently, things are starting to get better, and normal again. Which is good, and bad. Good because, things were alright when it was normal, sucky thing, i was single so yeah. Bad because, I have nightmares a lot when everything is normal, and frankly, i dont think people like nightmares. They can be so real, so intense, so dramatizing.
Last night's nightmare, was crazy. I was trying to get evidence or something so i can send my neighbor to jail cause he was a killer or something. I was snooping around in his house, and he catches me, and i guess, he sent someone after me before, and i survived it obviously and the killer was like "I see your not actually dead, even though my assassin claimed to see you die with his own eyes. Traitor.". All of a sudden, i get this fear, this voice in my head telling me to run, get out of there before its too late, and as i try to run, he pushes me back. Brings me into the bathroom, and he starts stabbing into me with his knife, i count, Once, twice, three times, four times, and a final time. All stabs were in my stomach and abdomen area. I could feel myself dying. I actually thought i was dead. Laying there, motionless, he leaves the room, and i get up and clutch my stomach. Looking at my stained red hands. I decide to leave, unknowingly that he took all my possessions from my pocket and put them on the counter and took my shoes. I quickly run out of the bathroom and out the door, as fast as i could, bleeding. Running down the street, i am quickly reaching my home. Getting there, my sisters outside along with some of my other family, i go up to her crying trying to tell her that i was stabbed, she laughs and continues on to what ever she was doing, i knew i didnt have much time before he notices im gone and comes over to my house. I run inside, scared. Running into my room, i look at my window to see someone opening it from the other side, i shut it quickly and lock it, but somehow he opens it a little again, so i slam it closed and lock it again, watching him, watch me. Having this fear run all through my body, i could still feel the pain in my stomach, rushing out into the kitchen, i find my grandma there, telling her that i was almost killed, she laughs, until i show her all my wounds. Then i could hear him come in, and i tell her that, thats who tried to kill me. I stand behind her, and he walks up the stairs "Can i see your 19 year old grandson Glen?" i weakly show myself "Im not nineteen, so i cant be charged or anything, Im fifteen, your going to rot in jail". I could see him walking closer and closer, i close my eyes for a quick second and i awake from my dream, still feeling pain in my stomach, i look to see if there were any scars or any cuts, nope, nothing. Laying there, remembering that my window was open, quickly getting up and closing it as if he was trying to get in again.
It was a crazy dream. I woke up at 4:30am, and jumped out of bed, checked my stomach for any wounds, nothing. Remembering it was a dream. Fell back asleep, my alarm was set for 5:04am. So i only had half hour of sleep, but thought i should use it. I wake up at 5:30am, no alarm, nothing, i look at my clock, to see that the alarm was turned off, but i am the only one here. It doesnt automatically turn off either, and at 4:30am it was turned on. Puzzling, weird. Some mystery's just cant be solved. LOL.
Last night's nightmare, was crazy. I was trying to get evidence or something so i can send my neighbor to jail cause he was a killer or something. I was snooping around in his house, and he catches me, and i guess, he sent someone after me before, and i survived it obviously and the killer was like "I see your not actually dead, even though my assassin claimed to see you die with his own eyes. Traitor.". All of a sudden, i get this fear, this voice in my head telling me to run, get out of there before its too late, and as i try to run, he pushes me back. Brings me into the bathroom, and he starts stabbing into me with his knife, i count, Once, twice, three times, four times, and a final time. All stabs were in my stomach and abdomen area. I could feel myself dying. I actually thought i was dead. Laying there, motionless, he leaves the room, and i get up and clutch my stomach. Looking at my stained red hands. I decide to leave, unknowingly that he took all my possessions from my pocket and put them on the counter and took my shoes. I quickly run out of the bathroom and out the door, as fast as i could, bleeding. Running down the street, i am quickly reaching my home. Getting there, my sisters outside along with some of my other family, i go up to her crying trying to tell her that i was stabbed, she laughs and continues on to what ever she was doing, i knew i didnt have much time before he notices im gone and comes over to my house. I run inside, scared. Running into my room, i look at my window to see someone opening it from the other side, i shut it quickly and lock it, but somehow he opens it a little again, so i slam it closed and lock it again, watching him, watch me. Having this fear run all through my body, i could still feel the pain in my stomach, rushing out into the kitchen, i find my grandma there, telling her that i was almost killed, she laughs, until i show her all my wounds. Then i could hear him come in, and i tell her that, thats who tried to kill me. I stand behind her, and he walks up the stairs "Can i see your 19 year old grandson Glen?" i weakly show myself "Im not nineteen, so i cant be charged or anything, Im fifteen, your going to rot in jail". I could see him walking closer and closer, i close my eyes for a quick second and i awake from my dream, still feeling pain in my stomach, i look to see if there were any scars or any cuts, nope, nothing. Laying there, remembering that my window was open, quickly getting up and closing it as if he was trying to get in again.
It was a crazy dream. I woke up at 4:30am, and jumped out of bed, checked my stomach for any wounds, nothing. Remembering it was a dream. Fell back asleep, my alarm was set for 5:04am. So i only had half hour of sleep, but thought i should use it. I wake up at 5:30am, no alarm, nothing, i look at my clock, to see that the alarm was turned off, but i am the only one here. It doesnt automatically turn off either, and at 4:30am it was turned on. Puzzling, weird. Some mystery's just cant be solved. LOL.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Yes, yes yes YES!
I am completely done ALL of my government exams, YAY! ^_^ . I am happy, now on monday is my new semester, with all new courses! Its like a whole new start! Which is exactly what i need. These past two weeks have been so, stressful, and so stupid. It is slowly getting back to normal though, so its all good (: but yeah, i am pretty normal now, not feeling that sad, as much. Not feeling intense angry, or physcotic . Haha, but then again, i dont think i was physcotic, maybe, maybe not. *wink wink* .... Aha. :3
So yeah, it is officially the weekend for me. No more school, for the weekend anyway. Guess what? I have a date tonight ^_^. I was like, so stokedd on life when he asked me if i wanted to go do something tonight, not like we never did anything, but this is like, the first time were going out out, you know? :P Yeah, so were deciding on what movie we should go see, even though, me and Jacqueline saw all of the movies, the only i haven't seen was like, only one of them, and its rated R. So yeah, either we sneak in, which i do anyway. or we like, do something else. I think it was rated R, i dont even remember what movie it is, so... LOL. Oh, i just checked the cineplex odeon site, i havent seen three of them. "The tooth Fairy" which i do not want to see, "Extraordinary Measures" which doesnt look to bad, and "Leap Year" which i would like to see, but it would be obvious that we are on a date if were going to go see a romantic comendy. Oh well, i dont really care.
On February 5th, i am soo going to see "Dear John" looks soo epic. I dont care if its a chick flick, im gay, im allowed to like those kind of movies. LOL. even before i knew i was gay, i still liked those movies. Aha. :3 but yeah, me and Jacqueline are probably going to go see that. If i can drag Thaine along, i will ! >:P but yeah, "Dear John" looks just amazing. :) im stokedd on life to go see that! Same with "Shutter Island", i am soo going to go see that too!! Mostly because it looks intense drama, kind of action-ey, suspense, thriller movie. Also it has one of my favourite actors, Leonardo Dicaprio. ^_^
Hopefully All of you guys have an Amazing weekend. I, myself, have a date tonight, so yeah, i am pretty stoked. LOL
So yeah, it is officially the weekend for me. No more school, for the weekend anyway. Guess what? I have a date tonight ^_^. I was like, so stokedd on life when he asked me if i wanted to go do something tonight, not like we never did anything, but this is like, the first time were going out out, you know? :P Yeah, so were deciding on what movie we should go see, even though, me and Jacqueline saw all of the movies, the only i haven't seen was like, only one of them, and its rated R. So yeah, either we sneak in, which i do anyway. or we like, do something else. I think it was rated R, i dont even remember what movie it is, so... LOL. Oh, i just checked the cineplex odeon site, i havent seen three of them. "The tooth Fairy" which i do not want to see, "Extraordinary Measures" which doesnt look to bad, and "Leap Year" which i would like to see, but it would be obvious that we are on a date if were going to go see a romantic comendy. Oh well, i dont really care.
On February 5th, i am soo going to see "Dear John" looks soo epic. I dont care if its a chick flick, im gay, im allowed to like those kind of movies. LOL. even before i knew i was gay, i still liked those movies. Aha. :3 but yeah, me and Jacqueline are probably going to go see that. If i can drag Thaine along, i will ! >:P but yeah, "Dear John" looks just amazing. :) im stokedd on life to go see that! Same with "Shutter Island", i am soo going to go see that too!! Mostly because it looks intense drama, kind of action-ey, suspense, thriller movie. Also it has one of my favourite actors, Leonardo Dicaprio. ^_^
Hopefully All of you guys have an Amazing weekend. I, myself, have a date tonight, so yeah, i am pretty stoked. LOL
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Hearts break, Hearts mend, but they will have the scars forever..
Yeah, i have my math exam in a couple hours, thought i would post a blog, since i am bored. I really should be studying, but hey! Its only my math exam, and im already getting 86% in that class, i could totally just flunk the provincial and still pass the course so its all good. The only thing i should be worried about is my science, cause, first of all, i dont even know what im getting in that class. Second, I dont want to fail, so yeah. Probably going to study for that when i get home. Cause im that cool.
I went and saw that olympic torch thing that came to town, it was cool, saw the torch, even met a furry there! Then we spent the next hour trying to find a glowing bottle because it was a bottle that glowed! Who wouldnt want that... we never found it, but we did find bottles of coke! That were apparently collectors bottles, we thought that, if we somehow put them together, it would form like, the glowing bottle, yeah, we were pretty hyper and stuff...
So apparently, i am in a love triangle.... like, i dont think so buddy... Cause, well, what Thaine is doing, some people think that Thaine is doing it all for me, which is weird, cause Thaine isnt like that.. Then theres him, you guys can call him MuskRat, hes really nice and stuff... Then apparently, Derrik seems interested? I dont really think so, but thats what Wolfe said. I think Derrik is just, I dont know, but i dont really think he wants me back. If he did, i am not allowed to date him again. I am told by Jacqueline and Brittany that im not allowed too, because, that if i did, after what he "did"... i would get beat. So yeah, i am not allowed, i could, i just would have to keep it secret ! Just saying...
I am like actually so excited for this week to be over, mostly cause, i hate exams. The weekend is like, going to be amazing, cause i am going to relax and hang out. Mostly relax since i dont have to worry about any exam, or any problem. So yeah, these past two weeks have been stressful! I need some stress relief, which i did get in the past two nights ^_^ . From when we went to the Olympic Torch, to when we relaxed and did stuff in my room ^^.
I went and saw that olympic torch thing that came to town, it was cool, saw the torch, even met a furry there! Then we spent the next hour trying to find a glowing bottle because it was a bottle that glowed! Who wouldnt want that... we never found it, but we did find bottles of coke! That were apparently collectors bottles, we thought that, if we somehow put them together, it would form like, the glowing bottle, yeah, we were pretty hyper and stuff...
So apparently, i am in a love triangle.... like, i dont think so buddy... Cause, well, what Thaine is doing, some people think that Thaine is doing it all for me, which is weird, cause Thaine isnt like that.. Then theres him, you guys can call him MuskRat, hes really nice and stuff... Then apparently, Derrik seems interested? I dont really think so, but thats what Wolfe said. I think Derrik is just, I dont know, but i dont really think he wants me back. If he did, i am not allowed to date him again. I am told by Jacqueline and Brittany that im not allowed too, because, that if i did, after what he "did"... i would get beat. So yeah, i am not allowed, i could, i just would have to keep it secret ! Just saying...
I am like actually so excited for this week to be over, mostly cause, i hate exams. The weekend is like, going to be amazing, cause i am going to relax and hang out. Mostly relax since i dont have to worry about any exam, or any problem. So yeah, these past two weeks have been stressful! I need some stress relief, which i did get in the past two nights ^_^ . From when we went to the Olympic Torch, to when we relaxed and did stuff in my room ^^.
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