Family

Well, sorry I haven't been writing in my blog. I have just been so, busy with my life problems. Anyway, on to discussing it, you might not like it, but I shall blog about it anyway. Well, from my last blog, I was blaming my mom, only because it seemed like her, because she told me my dad phoned her... and my dad never phones her. So, I just didn't know the facts. Now I do, it was my dad. He was the one that went into my business without my permission, I know that he's my father, and he did all these things while I was growing up, but still, some permission would have been great. He also assumed things, things that were no where near correct. From those events, I have informed my grandparents of my dads actions, and attitude, and that they should talk to him about it... Guess what they did? My grandpa freaked out at me, and kicked me out of the house (I resided in their home, it was more convenient living there than my dads, my mom lived in another town, so I was unable to go to the same school if I had lived with her). It just turned out that he had even greater anger issues, I guess that's where my dad got his from. 


So, I was kicked out of my home, and my mom was unable to pick me up, not until the end of the week (It was Tuesday I believe) So, my friend, my very awesome friend, let me stay at his house until my mom could pick me up. I'm not going to discuss the rest of the week I am currently residing with my mother still, she's been great, took me in, she didn't even bring up the incident at all. I'm glad someone took my side. It has been a month and a week since they kicked me out. I have also found out more and more information they have been keeping from me. They shoved all these lies in my face, making it seem like I lived in this perfect world. I am really disappointed about their lying and rudeness towards me. They didn't accept me, when they found out that I was gay... They didn't accept me, and didn't like the "way I turned out". I was shocked to hear such a thing, and appalled. It hurts that they would say such things. I always assumed that, if none of my friends accepted me, I would at least have my family... Guess I was wrong, it was the complete opposite. All my friends accepted me, which is great. My mom, and my siblings do of course, thank god. Although, only some of my siblings do, my step brothers don't... I don't feel the need to tell them though, if they find out, then they find out. It doesn't matter much.


I miss all my friends back in my home town, very much, I love them all to bits. I'm homesick, and very lonely at the moment. Through this all, I am still doing alright. I'm not mad at my family, just severely disappointed. I cannot believe they said the things they said. It's sad to see things turn out like this, from a stupid little incident like this. Oh well, things will get better eventually, and maybe they will soon accept the fact I'm gay and welcome me back into the family. If not, it's their loss, I don't want a family that doesn't love me for who I am, if that's the way they think, then, whatever.

Long Delay

Sorry for the long delay on writing a new post.
A lot has happened since my last post. Thaine, has found another girl to go out with, so as long as he is happy, i am happy. In the last two days, i've been having some family issues, mainly my mothers fault. She wants me to go to a councillor cause she thinks i have problems. Which i dont. She also thinks that i talk to "Older Men" which is DEFINATLY wrong. I do, but not like, Internet Sex, that is just. WRONG. they are part of the Furry World, and furries help each other out, with problems, with anything, we are a nice community. We help each and every fur. We stand up for each other, we watch each others backs. They are the people you would go to if you have problems and need to talk. I know whether or not they are good or bad people, my parents should learn facts before shooting off there mouth at me. Its just rather depressing that my mom would have to make this such a big issue, when she started this all, she could have avoided this all if she had learn the facts. Instead of assuming.

Now i may never be able to do anything. All because my mother assumed things and told my dad, and ordered him around. The only person that i could convince, was my sister. She keeps worrying i will never speak to her again. Which is incredibly stupid, because, none of this is her fault.

I have lost all trust in my parents. They are going to have to work for my trust, my love and my friendship back. They most certainly did Blow this whole thing Out of Proportion.

Oh Haii Thar.

Hello Blog, it has been too long since i last wrote in you... Oh how things have changed. My boyfriend, he is doing good, i am doing good. Although, Thaine is not. He broke it off with Opal, mostly cause, after me and him talked for a bit, him telling me, that he didnt have the same feelings anymore, i just simply told him, if he doesnt love her anymore, there is no reason for you to stay, and the longer you wait to do it, the more its going to hurt her in the end. So yeah, they broke up, then a day before Valentine's day, Thaine got jumped. He got Beaten up, he was maced, and beaten with a weapon also. The weapon was believed to be a sprinkler i think. I wasnt really worried about Thaine though, cause, if thaine really wanted to... He could have easily beaten him up, but Thaine didnt fight back. Here's a few words he said... "I hope i didnt hurt his fist with my face... i might have hurt his weapon with my face though...." ... Yeah, he's crazy. Oh and this past Tuesday, Opal and Deseray got in a feud, where, three security guards had to stop it, and Thaine had to jump in, so Opal wouldnt do anything. Out of Thaine's words "Opal, i wouldnt want to fight Des, she can beat you up!". As we were walking back to Campus, Me, Brittany, Thaine, and some other people. Thaine got caught up by Opal, and i turn around to check, and i saw Opal Hit Thaine, after seeing him say something, but i couldnt hear him from distance, she slaps him again, and Thaine, he isnt the type of guy to hit a girl, and by the look on his face, it looked kind of angry, but i knew he wouldnt hit her.... Then Brittany jumps in and pushes Opal off. Then another security guard comes in. After that, we had to leave behind Thaine and go back to Campus. Thaine did catch up in a couple of minutes though. Apparently, the guard could have charger Thaine with Assault, even though he didnt do SHIT to Opal. There has also been rumours about Opal, Like how she spat in a teachers face. Or How she sent the guy to beat up Thaine, but those are just rumours...

My Big Bro, Wolfe, he's drawing our fursona's,  and his idea is to have my fursona, behind him, and hes going to be sitting in a chair, and im going to be pouncing him. I think its going to be cute. Wolfe, he's helped me ever since Derrik broke up with me. I tell him everything, cause, he gets mad when i dont. He really is, overly protective over me, like i am his little brother.
"ich Liebe mein bruder, und im froh, daß er ist hier für mich" - "I love my brother, and i am pleased that he is here for me."

Oh how i can go on and on in german, simply, cause for some reason, i like that language, always have. i was going to talk about something else, but i have forgotten what.... if i remember, i'll post it in the next one....

*Sighh*

Hopefully, this time around, you wont do anything stupid, and i wont. Cause, i love you soo much, that if i lose you again, i dont know what i would do. You mean a lot to me, i hope you see that. Derrik and I are dating again, so yeah, things got a shine of light for a bit. Happy Face.

On the other hand, i am sick again, so yeah. This sucks. I hate being sick, but who doesnt? School, is pretty depressing, i actually hate it, i was so going to take online schooling, but my friends wont let me, sad face. I could go on and on about how life is depressing, but frankly, i dont want to do it. So yeah, figure out yourself on how life is sad. There are many reason's if you look hard enough, but thats not the point of life, the point of life is getting past the flaws and onto the perfections. I lost my story, my new story series called "Amnesia" like, i dont know where i put it, or where i left it... so yeah, im going to have to keep looking, and if i dont find it, i'll have to restart the story, and i was on chapter two! Sad face. Anyway, with each passing day, the world keeps revolving, the earth keeps moving, life keeps dwindling down its days. Time stops for no man, so keep that in mind, and live life to its fullest! Since i dont have much to talk about... this will be a short blog. Until further ado, i'll see you, my faithful blog readers, next time :) <--- Hahaha, i know, that was pretty lamee :)

Dreams .

So apparently, things are starting to get better, and normal again. Which is good, and bad. Good because, things were alright when it was normal, sucky thing, i was single so yeah. Bad because, I have nightmares a lot when everything is normal, and frankly, i dont think people like nightmares. They can be so real, so intense, so dramatizing.

Last night's nightmare, was crazy. I was trying to get evidence or something so i can send my neighbor to jail cause he was a killer or something. I was snooping around in his house, and he catches me, and i guess, he sent someone after me before, and i survived it obviously and the killer was like "I see your not actually dead, even though my assassin claimed to see you die with his own eyes. Traitor.". All of a sudden, i get this fear, this voice in my head telling me to run, get out of there before its too late, and as i try to run, he pushes me back. Brings me into the bathroom, and he starts stabbing into me with his knife, i count, Once, twice, three times, four times, and a final time. All stabs were in my stomach and abdomen area. I could feel myself dying. I actually thought i was dead. Laying there, motionless, he leaves the room, and i get up and clutch my stomach. Looking at my stained red hands. I decide to leave, unknowingly that he took all my possessions from my pocket and put them on the counter and took my shoes. I quickly run out of the bathroom and out the door, as fast as i could, bleeding. Running down the street, i am quickly reaching my home. Getting there, my sisters outside along with some of my other family, i go up to her crying trying to tell her that i was stabbed, she laughs and continues on to what ever she was doing, i knew i didnt have much time before he notices im gone and comes over to my house. I run inside, scared. Running into my room, i look at my window to see someone opening it from the other side, i shut it quickly and lock it, but somehow he opens it a little again, so i slam it closed and lock it again, watching him, watch me. Having this fear run all through my body, i could still feel the pain in my stomach, rushing out into the kitchen, i find my grandma there, telling her that i was almost killed, she laughs, until i show her all my wounds. Then i could hear him come in, and i tell her that, thats who tried to kill me. I stand behind her, and he walks up the stairs "Can i see your 19 year old grandson Glen?" i weakly show myself "Im not nineteen, so i cant be charged or anything, Im fifteen, your going to rot in jail". I could see him walking closer and closer, i close my eyes for a quick second and i awake from my dream, still feeling pain in my stomach, i look to see if there were any scars or any cuts, nope, nothing. Laying there, remembering that my window was open, quickly getting up and closing it as if he was trying to get in again.

It was a crazy dream. I woke up at 4:30am, and jumped out of bed, checked my stomach for any wounds, nothing. Remembering it was a dream. Fell back asleep, my alarm was set for 5:04am. So i only had half hour of sleep, but thought i should use it. I wake up at 5:30am, no alarm, nothing, i look at my clock, to see that the alarm was turned off, but i am the only one here. It doesnt automatically turn off either, and at 4:30am it was turned on. Puzzling, weird. Some mystery's just cant be solved. LOL.

Yes, yes yes YES!

I am completely done ALL of my government exams, YAY! ^_^ . I am happy, now on monday is my new semester, with all new courses! Its like a whole new start! Which is exactly what i need. These past two weeks have been so, stressful, and so stupid. It is slowly getting back to normal though, so its all good (: but yeah, i am pretty normal now, not feeling that sad, as much. Not feeling intense angry, or physcotic . Haha, but then again, i dont think i was physcotic, maybe, maybe not. *wink wink* .... Aha. :3

So yeah, it is officially the weekend for me. No more school, for the weekend anyway. Guess what? I have a date tonight ^_^. I was like, so stokedd on life when he asked me if i wanted to go do something tonight, not like we never did anything, but this is like, the first time were going out out, you know? :P Yeah, so were deciding on what movie we should go see, even though, me and Jacqueline saw all of the movies, the only i haven't seen was like, only one of them, and its rated R. So yeah, either we sneak in, which i do anyway. or we like, do something else. I think it was rated R, i dont even remember what movie it is, so... LOL. Oh, i just checked the cineplex odeon site, i havent seen three of them. "The tooth Fairy" which i do not want to see, "Extraordinary Measures" which doesnt look to bad, and "Leap Year" which i would like to see, but it would be obvious that we are on a date if were going to go see a romantic comendy.  Oh well, i dont really care.

On February 5th, i am soo going to see "Dear John" looks soo epic. I dont care if its a chick flick, im gay, im allowed to like those kind of movies. LOL. even before i knew i was gay, i still liked those movies. Aha. :3 but yeah, me and Jacqueline are probably going to go see that. If i can drag Thaine along, i will ! >:P but yeah, "Dear John" looks just amazing. :) im stokedd on life to go see that! Same with "Shutter Island", i am soo going to go see that too!! Mostly because it looks intense drama, kind of action-ey, suspense, thriller movie. Also it has one of my favourite actors, Leonardo Dicaprio. ^_^

Hopefully All of you guys have an Amazing weekend. I, myself, have a date tonight, so yeah, i am pretty stoked. LOL

Hearts break, Hearts mend, but they will have the scars forever..

Yeah, i have my math exam in a couple hours, thought i would post a blog, since i am bored. I really should be studying, but hey!  Its only my math exam, and im already getting 86% in that class, i could totally just flunk the provincial and still pass the course so its all good. The only thing i should be worried about is my science, cause, first of all, i dont even know what im getting in that class. Second, I dont want to fail, so yeah. Probably going to study for that when i get home. Cause im that cool.

I went and saw that olympic torch thing that came to town, it was cool, saw the torch, even met a furry there! Then we spent the next hour trying to find a glowing bottle because it was a bottle that glowed! Who wouldnt want that... we never found it, but we did find bottles of coke! That were apparently collectors bottles, we thought that, if we somehow put them together, it would form like, the glowing bottle, yeah, we were pretty hyper and stuff...

So apparently, i am in a love triangle.... like, i dont think so buddy... Cause, well, what Thaine is doing, some people think that Thaine is doing it all for me, which is weird, cause Thaine isnt like that.. Then theres him, you guys can call him MuskRat, hes really nice and stuff... Then apparently, Derrik seems interested? I dont really think so, but thats what Wolfe said. I think Derrik is just, I dont know, but i dont really think he wants me back. If he did, i am not allowed to date him again. I am told by Jacqueline and Brittany that im not allowed too, because, that if i did, after what he "did"... i would get beat. So yeah, i am not allowed, i could, i just would have to keep it secret ! Just saying...

I am like actually so excited for this week to be over, mostly cause, i hate exams. The weekend is like, going to be amazing, cause i am going to relax and hang out. Mostly relax since i dont have to worry about any exam, or any problem. So yeah, these past two weeks have been stressful! I need some stress relief, which i did get in the past two nights ^_^ . From when we went to the Olympic Torch, to when we relaxed and did stuff in my room ^^.

7 days later

I had a blog completely done on friday, like actually, it had like 4 paragraphs and i was about to post it when i decided to put a heart on it, so i was going to copy and paste it, then i clicked something that messed it up, and it exited my blog without saving it. I was like disappointed, and i didnt want to re write it all, nor did i have the time. So yeah, that was like on friday, so i really dont know what i wrote.

I had a decent weekend, had to go to my moms, so yeah. Didnt stay home, and chill with friends, had to come down to my moms, so yeah, no visits from my friends. My cousin came with though, so yeah, had some quality family time. Went to Kelowna to the mall, bought some converse :D. Went to go see the movie Legion, it was pretty great, like actually. Whoosh, shooting everywhere, angels attacking, god doesnt believe in man. Apocalyptic movies are awesome.

Have government exams this week, Thursday is my science exam, and friday is my math. I have all week to study, and i should have studied more this weekend, but i barely had any time. Monday and Tuesday is my last day of school really, Wednesday i dont have school, that day is for grade 11's i think that have exams... yeah.

Derrik & I, we were boyfriends, then he broke up with me, I was pretty depressed for a week, today, 7 days later, i am feeling a bit better, Derrik, he was, still is, the most amazing-est guy you could ever ask for, the only thing i regret, is losing him. Any guy he gets, is absolutely lucky to get him, and they should treasure it, or else, they could lose him like i did, and once they lose him, i will always be here, for him. I still love him, just i have to realize that me and him, just will never be. I just hope that, when we grow up, that we are still friends, i want him to be in my life, he is amazing, he is someone you can tell anything, he is someone that you can just be with and have a great time.

Hey guys, i never posted a blog in a long time.

I just got out of a three month relationship, he broke up with me, so yeah for the past three days, i have been crying my eyes out. I am on the road to recovery, I am trying my hardest to get over him, so i can be friends with him again, because right now, even though he offered, i wouldnt be able to, still in love with him, being forced to watch him fall in love with someone new, i wouldnt be able to handle it. So yeah, i am trying to get over him, so i can be friends with him, cause no matter what, i want him in my life. Whether he is my Boyfriend, husband, or best friend. It wont matter, as long as he is here, being himself, then i should be happy, cause him in my life, is awesome, him not being in my life, just wouldnt be the same.

I have goverment exams coming up, yeah, so, i am trying my hardest to find time to study... but with me "being miserable" its not working, so yeah, bad week for exams...

I kind of feel pathetic, I cut myself, in efforts of feeling better, it was a bad idea... so i was told by many, including Derrik, asking me for a promise to never do it again. Its a promise, a hard one, cause, i think about it sometimes now. I know, pretty pathetic. but a dear friend told me, that cutting crayons is fun, and makes you smile... so, i just might do that. :P and yes, this person, is emo, and shes awesome.

If Argie, Jacc, Britt, Justin werent here, than, i would be in a very miserable mood. So i thank them, for being here for me. They are some of the best people, anyone could ask for. I love them to bits. I will be here for them, as much as they are here for me.
Thank you guys !

Be Proud !

Little Info on me!

I made this blog space for my friend Jacc, she has troubles getting to my msn one, so... Heres another one!! :3

You guys can call me 'Neon' or 'Mello'... Mello has been my nickname for a long time... i originally got it from one of my friends because we watched alot of youtube videos and there was this couple... one of them was named Mellow and my friend said i looked like that person and i acted alot like them, and also because i was so Mellow... so yeahh thats where that nickname comes from... 'Neon' i got from another friend... because of my love towards neon stuff

I might seem like the 'emo' type, with my black hair, its naturally Dark Brown, which only looks black. My hair might be long, and cover my eyes from people seeing them, but i like my hair like this. I wear a lot of red, because red is my favourite colour, even though i am colour blind. I found out i was colour blind when i was nine i think. when my mother took me to see an eye docter, he obviously told us that i was colour blind. He said that when children are colour blind, its usually from a parent, like a trait i guess, but none of my parents were colour blind. So it was a 'odd' case. I usually wear jeans, a shirt (usually long sleeve, if not, i put a long sleeve on then a short sleeve ontop, or a short sleeve then a sweator x]) and a sweator... I have a love for sweators, so i own thousands of them. I liike very colourful shoes, my current shoes are a bright neon yellow. My clothes consist of 'Branded'... I dunno why... i just dont buy weird branded... or too common... 'Gap' and stuff... Skate brands mostly... DGK, DC, Element, Billabong,RDS, Circa, Zoo York (One of my favs!), Quiksilver, Hurley, Fox, etc...

I have a lot of friends ranging from different types of stereotypical groups. Like Michelle, she became more of a 'prep' and she doesnt hang out with Brittany and them anymore. Brittany and most of the group are 'stoners', me, i guess you could call me 'prep' but im not in the same prep group as michelle..

I have a love for Music<3 without music i dunno how i would get by as easily. I listen to many dfferent types of music. I listen to Techno (Hardstyle, Jumpstyle, Trance, Tecktonic, etc.), Hard rock, Metal, Hardcore Metal, Rap, Hip-hop, SOME country.. I dont really like country, cause to me, it sounds the same between songs (no offense to anyone who loves country)

So there you go, a little more about me! If you want to know even more! Ask in a comment, or something.